ADHD and Lulu

I have to admit I went through a range of emotions when Lulu was first being diagnosed with ADHD. My first reaction was rolling my eyes and saying, "Ya, ya...ALL kids have ADHD, huh?" So, I started researching the disorder.

After reading the statistics show that children with ADHD usually drop out of school, are socially awkward, have high suicide rates, substance abuse problems, failing grades and extreme feelings of inadequacy...my next reaction was horror and lots of tears. I had no clue it could be such a debilitating disorder.

Since being diagnosed, I have grabbed every book I could on the matter. I have bought books for Lulu to read to be more comfortable with her own diagnosis. I have read medical articles online and spoken with the school and doctors.

What have I learned? I have learned that this doesn't mean my daughter is damaged. Quite the opposite! Lulu might just have more gifts than any other child without ADHD, hers will just be more difficult for her to unwrap. I am willing to be the one there for her to help unwrap them. I also noticed that traits that I have always cherished in my daughter since day one of meeting her can quite possibly be attributed to her ADHD. She is creative, thoughtful, tenacious, strong-willed, a daydreamer. She always comes up with the most interesting perspectives that make me rethink life almost everyday. You give her an art project to do and she will come up with something totally outside the box. She colors OUTSIDE the lines...not physically but in life as a whole. I love that about her!

The doctors and school wants to hop her up on meds. I have to trust myself as her mother to make the best decision for her. So far, medications don't seem like the right decision. It feels like the lazy decision. For Lulu (and this isn't speaking for all ADHD kids) she is getting good grades still, is on the honor roll (she does have to work harder at it then the rest) she is comfortably dealing with her peers. I have noticed that I have to help her through things more often, I have to make sure I feed her high protein breakfasts, I have to deny her caffienated drinks and too much candy.

ADHD is hereditary. She was born with this. And just as I wouldn't yell at her if she were deaf, "You are going to have to learn to hear!" I won't yell at her for daydreaming and having her own difficulties with her attention and hyperactivity.

Another part of this whole journey has been a relief. I always felt like an inadequate parent. I always wondered what I was doing wrong. Why did I have to tell her something a million times (and yes all kids have trouble listening, but children with ADHD do it to an extreme), why was she so lazy with everything, why was she so impulsive, why did she always say the worst things, why couldn't she sit still for a minute, why was I constantly frustrated. The diagnosis and reading the commons traits of this disorder made me realize it was nothing I was doing wrong and nothing Lulu could control without help.

Patience and love and support will help Lulu flourish later in life and probably make her use her ADHD to her advantage. I am happy and hopeful for her future and know she will be an awesome lady one day!