Youth Arts Celebration this Saturday!

http://www.workhousearts.org/events/546/youth-arts-celebration,-may-19/ The Workhouse Arts Center in Lorton, along with the Occoquan Regional Park and the Northern Virginia Regional Park Authority, will be hosting a bunch of different activities to show the diversity of the arts in our area May 19th, from 11am-5pm. This is especially geared to children. They will be allowed to watch and even at times interact in the cultural arts including music, dance, and arts and crafts. Of course, this includes food! Bring the kids down and let them come check out the activity tent. This event is free, however, a donation of $5 is suggested and will be GREATLY appreciated. Definitely a "steal of a deal" with all the activities they have planned. I will be painting outside from noon-5 pm. Kids and adults alike are encouraged to watch the process and even ask any questions they might have. (Painting and the creative process are two of my most favorite things to talk about!) Come watch me paint one of my owls!

Paintings on Parade 4 Equality: A Show of Pride

("Liberty" by John Gascot and MG Stout) The artists of Studio 4 (John Gascot, MG Stout, Lynn Goldstein, Joan Yi and Jams Bauguess) at the Workhouse Arts Center in Lorton, Va are having a "parade" of paintings depicting a show of pride, celebrating Gay Pride month. Each artists are showing their own expressions of love, equality, individuality through art. Opening reception will be Saturday, June 2nd 6 pm-9 pm. There will be food, refreshment, and fun. DJ Spence will be there to provide the music and representatives of The Imperial Court of Washington, DC will be making a special appearance. At 8:30 pm they will be putting on a performance. You don't want to miss out on this but if you do, the exhibition will be installed for the entire month of June at: 9601 Ox Road, Building W-4 Lorton, VA 22079. Gallery Hours: W-Sat 11:00am-7:00pm and Sun 12:00pm-5:00pm.

The Case of The Wayward Terd

Where do I begin?

On April 11th, 2012 at about 1645 hours; I found myself doing the "peepee" dance in my work chair and decided I should remedy the discomfort. I grabbed the key to the ladies room (our bathroom is locked from public access) and headed that way.

Now, as all of you know; I have had issues with this bathroom. Maybe I am not made to share a bathroom with 20 different women. Maybe these bizotches are just NASTY.

Just to give you an idea, our bathroom has 4 stalls. The last one in the row is triple the size of the other three and has it's own sink. I prefer this stall as I feel unrestricted and tend to feel claustrophobic when my knees hit the stalldoor as I pee. As luck would have it, this stall's open door beckoned to me and I happily skipped in, shutting the door behind me. Yeah, it doesn't take a whole lot to brighten my spirits. BUT!...

The nightmare began when I turned around to sit onto the toilet. Thankfully, a black interruption of the clean white porcelin of the seat caught my eye in the knick of time before I rested down. I jumped up with a startled scream. First, I was elated to finally be screaming like a lady should. Usually, when scared...I let out a low, gutteral man yell. It's always embarassed me and something I have tried to change for years. Secondly, I just couldn't believe my eyes. There layeth a wayward nugget upon the shiny clean porcelin!

I stood there with my dress gathered up within my arms, naked ass hanging out, staring at this terd and trying to wrap my mind around the horror of what I was seeing. I mean, I wasn't in some rest stop bathroom deep within the state of Arkansas! I was in a government bathroom, shared by other federal government employees, all of which are grown women. To my knowledge, none of these so called "ladies" are homeless, gorillas convincingly disguised as people, or patients in an insane asylum with feces fetishes. Thoughts rushed through my brain like, "Maybe they had a "clinger" they weren't aware of and as they wiped, they flipped it onto the seat. But ok...why didn't they wipe it off then? Maybe I should wipe it off. Hellllz no! Well, I mean...I wouldn't be touching it, I'd use a tissue. Eff that! That isn't in my job description. Dang! These women are nasty! I wonder who the culprit is? Chris did seem to be noticeably clinching today when I saw her in the hall. This is insane! Why is that terd so black? I think I read somewhere that high-iron diets cause dark terds. Wait, wasn't there also an article that dark poo points to internal bleeding?"

I took one last close inspection....actually, I can't lie...I took a close-up picture of it; but, when I got closer and noticed the consistency of the terd and color differences, I started dry heaving and felt dirty in its very presence. I start imagining the terd as alive and animated, jumping up from "playing dead" and spreading it's poo on me. I ran out the stall and closed it in behind me. (Yes, I have wondered if I am schizophrenic as opposed to just having a great imagination).

I am determined to find the shitter. I have thought about making wanted posters. I have defintely tried to gather clues. Here's what I have so far. The fecal matter in question was laid between the hours of 3:30 pm and 4:15 pm. The owner of this ass candy has a high-iron diet, or is internally bleeding. I have an eyewitness to this event that places the "fart demon" present at 4:15 but claims the bathroom was empty besides her. I believe she can be cleared as a suspect after witnessing her obvious disgust as well.

I believe the creme bru poop was removed by housekeeping staff that evening and I am sure that they were thinking, "Mira, Marcela! 'Deez gringas iz soooo desagradable!"

"It's STIFLING in here!"

First, thanks to everyone who came out to my art opening at Horseshoes & Handgrenades last Friday. I was super stoked about the turn-out. I was totally crunked, of course...so I might not even be remembering everyone who showed! HA! It was actually my VERY FIRST solo exhibit (at 34 years old) and so I would be remiss to not single out Mike and say thanks to him too. He really has an awesome boutique over there. A lot of my friends who came to support the show are saying they want to run by later and check out his cool shiz.

I remember a time when I metaphorically unzipped my Jams' skin suit, climbed out..leaving it behind to just paint. Paint in my hair, on my hands, clothes, face, floor, wall. I got into the shit. I just didn't give a fuck! I painted to be painting. It was an almost spiritual thing for me.

Now, I can't escape the confines of my own skull. I am sitting around inside my head wondering if it's good enough, feeling frustrated with the paint, trying to stay tidy, thinking about what others might think. That's bullshit and I don't know when I lost my way. I'm going to find it though.

As an artist, I want to devote all of my time to my shiz. I don't want to travel the 1 1/2 hours in a stuffy ass outfit, all business casual, covering my tattoos as best I can, sitting at a desk under florescent bulbs, typing on my government issue computer, discussing fruits and vegetables with people like it's a matter of national security. I want to be in the studio...painting, I want to work on my "Babycakes" sculpture, I want to hook up with the models I have lined up so I can finally get my shit out on canvas. I want to do my full size lady sculpture I have been thinking about for the last 2 years.

The only way I can do that is if I start making more money with my art.

That's where my problem begins...If I think about "is anyone gonna wanna hang this damn thing over their couch?" while I'm painting...I lose my edge. If I stress on the money making aspect of the art, I enjoy it less and put unnecessary pressure on something I just love to do.

So, I desperately want to paint a "fatty" with no shirt, tattoos, holding an ice cream cone and am going to go a little different by putting him in an actual setting. I usually just make the subject the focus and forego any background. I might have found a model and am looking forward to getting started. This isn't something someone would want to have hanging over the family dinner table but I don't care anymore. If I keep it forever, he'll be mine and a reminder of when I finally "found my way" again.

Further exhibit info...

Here is the kick-ass flyer my friend and fellow artist, Jeremy Gann did up for me.

For those not to familiar with the art scene. The hours of 6pm-9pm does NOT mean you have to stand around and stare at my art for 3 hours straight. It is an open reception so just means that you can come in between the hours of 6pm-9pm. You can stay 5 minutes or the whole time, doesn't matter.

I say this because I am getting a lot of people telling me "I'm coming but I might be a little late" or "I have something to do at 8 pm, so I might have to leave early"....people just come and go between those hours.

Hope to see everyone there! If I haven't met you yet, PLEASE come up and introduce yourselves! I'd love to meet you. Grab a glass of wine, help yourself to some snacks and just check out the "dysfunction".

Studio, show and more...

(Chilling out in studio 406 and "Bleck" from the secret series-2 acrylic on canvas)


I haven't posted in awhile with everything going on. I am packing, getting ready to move to Stafford (closer to the studio)..I still teach art at the homeless shelter on Tuesdays..I am trying to put the necessary hours into the new studio..work..and raising a 9 year old.

A lot of stuff has been happening this year...cool shiz. Like, obviously I got accepted into the Lorton Workhouse Arts Center and moved in March to studio 406 in building 4. I got asked to be in the UAS magazine, so as soon as I get my shiz together...I'll be sending that off. And last minute, I got asked to do a solo exhibit at Horseshoes & Handgrenades in FXBG. After getting the boot from the FXBG arts scene...I totally wasn't expecting THAT!

So far, I have been working in the studio Saturday and Sunday from like 11ish-7ish. Please feel free to stop by and check things out although after grabbing a bunch of stuff from the walls and throwing them into the solo exhibit, there isn't much left. Working on some stuff now.

Also, it looks like the artists of Building 4 will be putting on a Pride Art Show in June. There already seems to be a lot of planning and hardwork going into this so I bet it will be a good'un! I have completed one of my pieces for the show already and have heard tale of some of the other stuff that will be exhibited. Excited to see them all!

Make sure you make it down, up, over, whatever to FXBG this Friday for the show. If anything it'll give me the chance to interact with adults for 3 hours and totally looking forward to that!

Dysfunctional Delight Exhibit!

Come on down to:

Horseshoes & Handgrenades Vintage Boutique
1004 Caroline St.
Fredericksburg, VA 22401

This Friday, April 6th from 6pm-9pm for the opening reception.

Wine, food and art by yours truly, Jams Bauguess.